In Two Minds

After a couple of blog posts and in the hope that you understand us all a little better, we want to share something with you. We were in two minds as to whether we should hit the publish button, but here goes anyway. 

It all began a few years ago. We had just seen Twilight New Moon at the cinema - that's how long ago. So we had just come home from our date night and my husband began to complain about a pain in his back and that it was becoming a little unbearable. I tried to ease it by applying pressure and he took some pain killers but nothing seemed to help. Then all of a sudden he began to vomit everywhere and *too much detail* it was yellow and frothy, his lips started to go blue and he was screaming out in pain. It was horrific.We called for an Ambulance and he was rushed to hospital. After being assessed a little colour came back into his face but still in quite a lot of pain, I just felt so helpless. The doctors were not too sure what was going on and gave him some medication to ease the pain but after lots of tests, scans and a short period of time in hospital they found that my husband had a duplex system and that parts of his kidneys were slowly dying. It was a complete shock for us all and if I am completely honest it was scary as we had no clue what a duplex system. 

Fast forward a few years and my husband is still having problems with his kidneys, he has stopped smoking, doesn't drink alcohol or caffeine, eats healthy and exercises anything to prevent the pain. All doctors can say is drink more water and undergo regular screening. So after all this we were finally told that he would have to have surgery to remove that dying part in order to save the kidney, but I could see in my husband's face that he was apprehensive - it something that would scare anyone. We were told that the surgery is very difficult and has only ever been done on a few patients due to how complicated the surgery is. The doctor said that it is not as clear cut such as cutting an apple and that there could be a chance that he would loose the whole kidney and perhaps even more. After thinking over all the information we received that day we were told to go home, do our research to make sure that it is something that we feel is necessary to do. Obviously I thought it was because I hate seeing my husband in that amount of pain regularly and most of the time there is nothing I can do to help him, but my husband had his reservations. 

But what about if our girl ever needed my kidney? I won't be able to help her. 

My heart broke. I guess like any every parent, I would do anything for my child. For husband this was something that he will never be able to do if our child ever needed it and it laid so heavy on both our hearts - but I guess we have to see it as this...plan for today not for something that may never be. As we continue to move forward I will keep you updated on any progress he will make.