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Anyone Can Be A Mother? Fertility May Have Challenged Us, But We Are Stronger Because Of It

As a blogger, we tend to get called over sharers. And I guess to some extent we are but I see my little ole blog as much more than a place to 'overshare'. It's a place for me, a place where I feel I can express myself without judgement and a place where I feel most comfortable. However, I don't write just for me, I also see my blog as providing an honest account of motherhood and dare I say offer a few tips to other parents that are struggling through the milestones too. I take pride in knowing that my blog maybe helping someone and that's why I have decided to pluck up the courage and talk about the difficulties that my husband and I have faced coming into parenthood. If you have come across my blog before I am more than sure you have seen that I have touched on the subject in some of my posts. But today I want to dedicate a whole  post and share my story, in the hopes to make a difference to other people who have faced or are facing struggles with fertility. This is my story...

Nothing can really prepare you for being  a mother. You can read all the books, attend all the antennal classes and listen to all the advice that people like to offer freely, whether you ask for it or not. But when it comes down to this whole motherhood thing and you have a little person staring back at you, you will never know what it is like to be a mother, until you are one. For me, becoming a mother to my beautiful little lady has been one of the biggest accomplishments that I have ever and probably will ever make in my life. Any decision that I have ever made in my life has never brought so much joy and so much love into my heart. I am more than sure that many of you reading this, mothers or fathers will understand exactly what I mean. We all have felt what it's like to love another, but being a mother or a father is a completely different form of love, one that is everlasting, one that is unconditional, a love that's impossible to break. But my journey into motherhood has been by far one of the hardest things that I have ever had to go through, it's been an emotional rollercoaster.
In order for you to understand I need to take you back, briefly. I promise I will try to keep it short and to the point and not go off on a tangent, like I love doing on my blog. Ever since I can remember I have always been at the doctors one time or another. It was like I spend most of my childhood waiting for specialists, results and attending no end of appointments to see my progress. I can remember those times, vividly. One time I could remember lots of questions going through my head about why a doctor needed to put that jelly on my tummy to try and listening to my tummy. Just like a lady who would be expecting a baby. After all these visit and tests, in a nutshell my parents were told that I had abnormally small ovaries for my age and if I fail to reach certain milestones by a certain age, it would mean fertility problems in my adult years. My parents had to basically wait until I hit puberty until we knew for sure that I would be unable to have my own children. I had the most amazing childhood and was the perfect teenager with the mood swings and giving my mum and dad some back chat. I soon became more interested in boys and had a few boyfriends before I met my amazing husband. Our life together was always busy. I graduated from University, my husband completed his engineering degree, we moved in together and even got engaged. After six years as an engaged couple we decided to tie the knot and became husband and wife. We enjoyed lots of holidays, spending our spare cash on whatever we wanted, enjoyed the lie-ins and planning things on a whim. It was a wonderful time, carefree some might say.

But as a married couple, naturally we were asked questions. 'When are you going to have a baby?', 'Is there a bun in the oven?' We wanted a baby of course, but we were blissfully unaware of our journey yet to come. I always thought that because I got married and started trying for a baby there would never be an issue, but one negative test after the other. I knew something wasn't quite right. It was then I was brought back to the time of all the doctor appointments, the tests and waiting for results. The outcome was still the same. My ovaries are too small and that was the reason why I was finding it hard to conceive, my chances of becoming a mother were very slim. More negative tests it took a long time to deal with the shock and disbelief that I wasn't getting pregnant. I blamed myself. My husband was always so supportive even though he was going through the same feelings and emotions just as I was. I would feel so guilty all the time, I even told my husband a few times that he would be better off without me. I was very fortunate to be with someone who is so understanding who would always tell me that we were a team, whether this team included our own babies or not.
Many women don't want to talk about their feelings of pain, frustration and shame that comes with infertility. I think throughout society, there is a kind of stigma that to be a real woman you should be fertile and have babies. If anyone needs extra help, we are somehow less perfect or less of a person. But as a woman who has had fertility problems we just cannot beat ourselves up about it. Some women can look at a male and become pregnant, others it could take a little longer than they first anticipate and some need extra help along the way. No way is the right way for conceiving a baby, it just has to be the right way for you.

A turning point for me was by trying to conceive a baby naturally began to have an impact on my life and my marriage. It was then we decided to stop trying for a baby and to seek further advice but then some incredible happened. My husband and I were very fortunate and found out that we were expecting a baby. I thought I was unwell, but it turned out to be something that we have been wanting for a long time, unexpectedly too. Our beautiful miracle baby girl, Amelia-Rose. A true blessing and one that I will never ever take for granted. The only way that I can end this guest post is to say, be thankful and appreciate the things you have in your life and remember whenever you meet new people, stop and think that they could be fighting a battle that you know nothing about, so be kind.
14 comments on "Anyone Can Be A Mother? Fertility May Have Challenged Us, But We Are Stronger Because Of It"
  1. oh how beautiful, it seems that sometimes life can bring you such joy. Thank you for sharing #dreamteam

  2. Thank you for sharing your story. So many women struggle with fertility issues and your happy ending will give them some hope

  3. The perfect ending! My mum struggled to conceive me, she wanted to have 2 years between my brother and I, but there is 4 years. She decided to stop trying for a baby to focus on moving house. When they moved house she was 3 months pregnant with me. The mind works in strange ways, but taking the focus away definitely seems to help a lot of people x

  4. What a difficult journey but I'm so pleased for you that you got your beautiful baby girl in the end.

  5. A beautiful post. I'm so happy for you that you got your perfect ending - I love her name! xx

  6. Ahh, I love that your story had a happy ending. I agree there is some weird social stigma surrounding infertility so it's great that you are talking about it. On another note. Our daughters share the same name and Mr C is an engineer too! :-)

  7. Thank you for sharing your story, so lovely to hear that after that wait and the worry, you managed to fall pregnant! #dreamteam

  8. Beautifully written, and so emotional too. I can't imagine how hard this must have been for you both. I have seen what infertility can do to couples and it's not a pretty sight. So glad you got your beautiful happy ending with your little one. #DreamTeam xx

  9. I think the bloggers who overshare are so brave & the ones who really help people! So many men & women face infertility and it's this kind of post that will truly help them. And help talking about it become more acceptable! x

  10. Thank you for sharing your story, I know that it will give hope to many. I think there is a great power in blogging when we share the highs and lows of real life because despite the openness of our generation, the mainstream still tends to opt for the rose tinted version of life mostly. We bloggers are keeping it real! your little lady is beautiful by the way, such a happy ending to your long journey xx

  11. I'm glad it worked out in the end and you have your beautiful daughter. Well done for sharing such a personal experience. That must have been a hard few years xx

  12. This was a great read. I think it's people like you who really make an impact, you are telling people your story and people in similar situations just want to know that they aren't alone. Kudos to you #KCACOLS

  13. What a lovely post, I'm so glad you conceived naturally in the end! I had no idea, you see a young woman with a baby and you don't stop to think about their journey or if they had any struggles. Thank you for sharing!

    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time

    (Jenny from Accidental Hipster Mum) x

  14. What a beautiful story. I'm so glad your story has a happy ending. I'm sure lots of women will take comfort in knowing they're not alone in this #kcacols


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