My Dream, My World, My Everything.

As you may know if you read my last post I am completely new to this blogging game, but it's a journey that I am very excited to share with everyone. But in the last post I touched on a few subjects that I will share on my blog and one in particular that I want to talk about some more is this little beauty...

Yep, how cute does she look in the tutu? It's hard to believe that this photograph was taken when she was just eight days old. It only feels as if it was yesterday. Fast forward a year and we are finding ourselves into those toddler year and having a crazy ride together. It wasn't so long ago that we were celebrating her first birthday, it's been quite hard for me to adjust to the fact that she will no longer be my baby but my little girl. I rememer shortly after I gave birth my her that many family and friends were quick to remind me that they don't stay little for long, and I remember thinking, alright calm down I have squeezed this little human out, at least let me enjoy the moment for a little bit before you tramp all over it. But I can completely understand what they mean though. For me, the realisation that my baby was no longer my baby came as she was tucking into her birthday cake walking around the front room. It was as if those first few months with her seemed to fly by at a crazy rate. As silly as I sound writing this but it did feel quite a whirlwind and boy was I emotional as her first birthday came around, that's for sure. Anyone else like this before their child's first birthday?

Nothing can really prepare you for being a mother. You can read all the books, attend all the antenatal classes and listen to all the advice that people like to offer freely, whether you ask for it or not. But when it comes down to this whole motherhood thing and you have a little person staring back at you, you will never know what it is like to be a mother, until you are one. For me, becoming a mother to my beautiful little lady has been one of the biggest accomplishments that I have ever and probably will ever make in my life. Any decision that I have ever made in my life has never brought so much joy and so much love into my heart. I am more than sure that many of you reading this, mothers or fathers will understand exactly what I mean. We all have felt what it's like to love another, but being a mother or a father is a completely different form of love, one that is everlasting, one that is unconditional, a love that's impossible to break. But my journey into motherhood has been by far one of the hardest things that I have ever had to go through, it's been an emotional roller coaster.

Many women don't want to talk about their feelings of pain, frustration and shame that comes with infertility. I think throughout society, there is a kind of stigma that to be a real woman you should be fertile and have babies. If anyone needs extra help, we are somehow less perfect or less of a person. But as a woman who has had fertility problems we just cannot beat ourselves up about it. Some women can look at a male and become pregnant, others it could take a little longer than they first anticipate and some need extra help along the way. No way is the right way for conceiving a baby, it just has to be the right way for you. A turning point for me was by trying to conceive a baby naturally began to have an impact on my life and my marriage. It was then we decided to stop trying for a baby and to seek further advice but then some incredible happened. My husband and I were very fortunate and found out that we were expecting a baby. I thought I was unwell, but it turned out to be something that we have been wanting for a long time, unexpectedly too. Our beautiful miracle baby girl, Amelia-Rose. She is my dream. She is my world. And she is my everything.