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INSPIRING AND EMPOWERING WOMEN IN THE HOPES TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

BEING A MUM IS AMAZING, YET...

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Being a mother is a truly remarkable gift and a privilege that I hold very close to my heart. For me, becoming a mother to my beautiful little lady has been one of the biggest accomplishments that I have ever and probably will ever make in my life. Any decision that I have ever made in my life has never brought so much joy and so much love into my heart. I am more than sure that many of you reading this, mothers or fathers will understand exactly what I mean. We all have felt what it's like to love another, but being a mother or a father is a completely different form of love, one that is everlasting, one that is unconditional, a love that's impossible to break. But my journey into motherhood has been by far one of the hardest things that I have ever had to go through, it's been an emotional roller coaster. I have been thinking back to those first moments as a mother and remembering how hard they were, actually harder than I ever imagined. I don't think I was prepared for the emotional complexities that comes with motherhood. I expected to love my daughter and to be loved in return, but something that I didn't expect was the intricate shapes that both our love for one another assumes. It's powerful, it's unconditional and it's beautiful. In the midst of the beautiful world of being a mother it can be easy to find the joy and smiles, however it doesn't come without sacrifice.


Anyone will tell you that being a parent is the most exciting time in your life and all you can think about is bringing a new life into the world. As it should be, there's nothing more wonderful than watching a bump grow into a little person. In the moments before the arrival of your bundle of joy, the excitement continues to build until you find yourself wishing those last moments of your pregnancy away, after all you are eager to meet your baby. But instead of wishing that time away enjoy the last few moments of being able to sleep during the day, have lazy mornings in bed watching TV, doing things on a whim and go on as many dates as you possibly can. Just make sure you make the most of your time. Because all too soon your world will be turned upside down thanks to a certain little person. Nothing can prepare you for the joy, sheer exhaustion and happiness that is coming your way. But as amazing it is being a mother to my beautiful little girl there were some things that I never expected. In the beauty of motherhood I failed to realise that there is a lot of sacrifice...

SLEEP

Well that's a shocker! I assume that this would be on the top of every parents list, right? Remember those late nights on the tiles and the glorious lie ins. Absolute bliss. Late nights now consist of soothing cries, changing beds and listening out my daughter squeaks, then waking up at the crack of arse because she's needs to poop! I can vaguely remember a couple of people saying to me 'sleep while you can' and I remember thinking it can't be that bad! It's absolute torture, the first few months were unbearable, you cannot even begin to understand what I mean until you've been awake for six days straight.

Parenting can mean sacrificing your sleep...



TIME

Time with my husband, time to poop, time to wash and dry my hair without someone needing my attention. So, yes time is something that has most definitely been sacrificed! It's so hard to try and manage time when you have children. Before having our daughter we would always do things on a whim, we could get up late, or just spend all day in bed. And now our time is no longer ours and we struggle to get a few minutes by ourselves. Do you know what I miss the most? No, not that! Keep your minds out the gutter people! The little things, like holding his hand around town, normally we are too busy carrying the truck load of stuff that our little person needs, holding her sticky hand, or pushing the pram.  I cannot even remember the last time we had a date night, actually come to think of it, our anniversary last year! So it's been a while! Now our date nights consist of a Netflix binge with one of us (normally the husband) dropping a noddy before the opening credits have even rolled! We have to plan everything and I know that its all a part of becoming a parent but it's not fun and takes the mystery away. However it's a small sacrifice to make and I think that we cherish all the moments we do get alone so much more.

Time for myself? Forget it! I cannot remember the last time where I actually had a big bubble bath just for me, without a certain little lady using me a slide. To actually be alone, to sit in the quiet, to exhale and slump down in the sofa because someone offered to take my daughter for an afternoon, just to relax. I honestly really struggle to actually make time for myself, even though it's so important, I just end up forgetting. But looking after a toddler, the cooking, the cleaning and bath time I am just too knackered to have me time. All I want to do is sleep.

Parenting can mean sacrificing time with loved ones, and time for yourself.



RELATIONSHIPS

I was one of the first in my friendship group to have a baby, so I have plenty of friends who don’t have children. You know the ones that will always say we should meet up soon, but cancel last minute. But even though that are shitty for cancelling I am so envious of what they get up to and never realised becoming a parent would mean giving up so much. I have swapped all the late nights for early mornings, the cocktails and dinner dates for copious amounts of tea and quick and easy dinners. Don't even get me started on my wardrobe changes from skinny jeans and blouses to mum leggings and baggy tees. But even when I do go out I'm pretty sure I bore people to death with all my baby talk and baby photo spam. Being a parent is the most joyous thing in the world. Whether you agree or not, your lifestyle does change with children and I have seen so many changes because of my little girl.

When my daughter was born we were overwhelmed with visitors. The first five days were completely crazy, I thought you were supposed to give new parents time to adjust, obviously some didn't get that memo. As lovely as it was to have guests, trying to entertain family and friends when you have just pushed out a little human being is very hard. I would find myself walking around very slowly for fear of making funny faces and funny noises if I tried to sit down, I just wanted to cry. But where did all these people go? No seriously. It seems once the baby was three months old these people vanished into thin air and now my daughter is lucky if she gets a birthday card!


Not once did I ever imagine my relationship with my husband would change after having our daughter. Yes sure, we knew that she would cause an upheaval in our life, and we would soon adjust but our relationship would always be the same. Thinking back now, I was pretty naïve in expecting that our lives and our relationship would simply go back to what it what before our baby, but it would be three times as fun. Becoming a family of three was tough, we struggled, we snapped at one another but we soon adapted to our new life as a family. Our relationship has changed, it's not the same at all - but we have a child to love and a family to build, so it's a small sacrifice to pay.

Parenting can mean sacrificing some relationships...

MY JOB

I have always worked. I never would have imagined becoming a stay at home mum and not returning to work. I was never going to be one of those mums who couldn't bare leaving their little one. But you know what? I am. I get to spend all day with my daughter and watch as much Peter Rabbit as I possible can. I do think that life can be funny like that, so whatever you do, never expect your life to go the way you planned. But now that my daughter is older and will be heading off to nursery, I feel now is the perfect time to get back into work. I am kind of glad that this is coming around because I do actually miss working, miss the adult conversation that doesn't focus on a child's poop pattern or answering all those annoyed 'why?' questions. However being a stay at home mother to my daughter has opened up new doors, that I would have imagined would have even be possible.

Parenting can mean sacrificing your career?




MY APPEARANCE

Before having my child I would always make sure that I had regular hair cuts, style my hair and never ever go without makeup. Now? The make-up free, no contacts, mum bun wearing is the look that I roll with. I'm not saying that I have let myself go or anything, Ok maybe a little, but you get my point.  Lovely clothes? Forget it! There really is no point in buying or wearing any blouses with all those beautiful embellishments, you know the ones you have to dry clean! As my little one likes to investigates, teeth, dribble or pull at them so why bother? If it dangles, sparkles or can be taken off...forget it...it can be snapped, broken, or stolen in seconds.

Parenting can mean sacrificing your appearance...



MY BODY

When I fell pregnant, I did not think about how a baby bump would affect my body. Normally women gain weight during pregnancy, I on the other hand lost weight and I can even remember telling my sister that being pregnant was great for weight loss, plus a bundle of joy, haha. There's no doubt about it, pregnancy changes a woman's body. It was strange to see my bump getting bigger, but losng weight, I hated the fact that my face filled out into three extra chins though. Even though the initial weight loss was great, my body lost its shape. Before having a baby I was more of a curvaceous woman that had a good sized proportion throughout, big boobs and bum and slighter smaller waist. But pregnancy has left me with, what can only be described as floppy bits. I hated this part of becoming a mum and even two years on, I still hate my body because of those bits. I don't resent my baby because of it, because well my body helped my baby grow but I have to learn to love those bits, floppy or not.

Parenting means sacrificing your body...


BUT WITH ALL THIS SACRIFICE...
  
Motherhood isn't always easy, and it's not always fun. There are some days filled with non-stop laughter and others I could break down in tears. There are days I never leave the house and days where I get no sleep. But every day is worth it and everyday is precious. So even though it may look like all you do is sacrifice they are all worthwhile because someone looks up to you, someone depend son you and someone loves you more than anything. To some you can just be a part of their world, however to your children, you are their world.
12 comments on "BEING A MUM IS AMAZING, YET..."
  1. I never get time to myself anymore, and I gave up my career too but I wouldn't change any of it. As hard as it can be sometimes, I love working from home and getting to look after him everyday! xx

    Gemma Louise

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    Replies
    1. Yes I am like that! Even though I sacrificed so much, it was all worth it!

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  2. Such an inspiring and great idea for a post! Love this one x

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  3. It's nice to read such a raw post from a mother, me and my partner keep talking about children, although we are no where near ready we are excited for when the time comes. This post has made me think I need to enjoy my time now with my partner because life really does change when you bring someone else into your family.

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes, enjoy those lazy morning and weekends away on a whim. But when you and your partner finally decide to start a family, it really is the best thing!

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  4. It's true things are forever changing but once you are a mum you're one forever. #BlogCrush

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    Replies
    1. Yes you are! It's an amazing experience.

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  5. This is such an honest, insightful post. I don't think you can ever be truly prepared for parenthood. As a primary school teacher, I thought I knew what it would be like and, like you, I didn't believe the sleepless nights could be THAT bad... how wrong I was - becoming a parent really does change everything. But, as you say, the love and happiness is on a comlpetely different scale to everything else too. #blogcrush

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    Replies
    1. Aw thank you, that's sweet! Yes I couldn't agree with you more!

      Delete
  6. I really enjoyed reading this post, not a word spoke truer. I am so with you on all of this, is it any wonder that sleep deprivation is used as torture! Thanks for linking up #BloggersBest

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  7. Yup - you can't have it all, but then I wouldn't want to! #bloggersbest

    ReplyDelete

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