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MIMI ROSE AND ME

Living Life Inspired

WHY DO I STRUGGLE TO MAKE MUM FRIENDS

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Being a blogger, can be a little deceiving. Now not in the way you may be thinking. As bloggers we all have that place where we can be ourselves, be able to write about issues that could be considered controversial. However, being confident and outspoken is not something I like to do in person. I don't want you to think that I am not real, when I write, have general ramblings or vent. I like to try and paint a picture of real motherhood and not a 'pinterest mum' who can whip up a batch of cookies, have a clutter free and clean home all whilst looking after a bunch of toddlers. You know, the kind of mum who generally has their shit together. Even though it may seem as if I am a confident and an outgoing person, I guess it's easy to show this behind a screen. I am far from this, when it comes to meeting new people or going to new groups, it's a bit of a struggle. 



When I actually sit down and think about it, I haven't always been like this especially when it comes to making friends. As a child I would always be the first one to say hello or ask if they wanted to come around to my house, but as I got older things started to change. I soon became shy, timid, and nervous around new groups. I would always dread being asked questions in class. I remember most of the time not focusing on my work and worrying too much about being asking questions. Pretty much throughout my school life, college and even university this was still a worry for me and when I went into the world of work I would hate giving presentations or even speak about daily targets in front of group of people. I would have to say that these overwhelming feelings have always been there, until I met my husband and he gave me so much confidence, to be myself, to realise that I was always enough. We moved in together, got engaged and got married and it was then when those overwhelming feelings of self-doubt, not being good enough came back. It was hard to escape.

I would try and focus on the positive things in my life, like my marriage and trying for a baby. However it wasn't as plain sailing as I thought it would be. For me, becoming a mother was something that is precious to me, as it was something that I never thought that would never be possible for me. There were times where I would cry myself to sleep and fill myself with false hope, to tell myself to keep positive and keep going. It was then that an isolated feeling consumed me, no one understood how I was feeling. This was one of the biggest hurdles that I facing in my life and I couldn't really talk about it. I would often watch other people and ask myself why them and not me? Being able to have my own baby was a dream. However, what seem liked forever our prayers were being answered and we were pregnant with our first baby. But as happier times were coming our way those feelings were still there in the pit of my stomach...

When I think back to my pregnancy, you could say it was one of those idyllic ones. It was the one time in my life that I felt so comfortable and so beautiful in my own skin, full of confidence and self worth.  I began to feel as if I was getting back to the person I became just after I met my husband. My pregnancy wasn't all full of unicorns and rainbows there were hard parts, like with any pregnancy. I had faint morning sickness, sciatic pain, frequent heart burn and the most ugly swollen feet towards the end of the pregnancy. Despite these though, I still see that it was quite idyllic. I had my daughter naturally with had no complications and I was home with my new family within days. As you might expect with a new born, family and friends flocked round to see our beautiful little lady and this time in our lives was perfect and we couldn't have been happier. But after everything settled I started to feel different...

Most of the time I would feel intense overwhelming feelings that consumed me, and were hard to escape. It would take my breath away with no effort, and leave me feeling completely exhausted. I would lay there most nights listening to my daughter and husband sleep and I would lay their wide eyed unable to switch off. It was like there was a never ending list of worries going through my mind. I would have to go and check my daughter several times during the night just to see if she was breathing. I know to some extent that most new parents feel the overwhelming sense of worry. It's normal. But as the months passed, deep down I knew that something was not quite right. There were moments that I would try and pluck up the courage to tell someone, I remember a time where I broke down in front of my Dad, but then, when it came to the crunch I just tried to shrug off the feelings with sleep exhaustion.

It began to effect my life. I would panic if I had to go out to get something, I couldn't face meeting people for play dates, I would even get flustered whenever we had family functions. I can remember the exact time that my husband knew something was wrong. We were getting ready to go to a local community centre to try and get signed off from the health visiting team, my daughter was around six weeks old. We were running late and my daughter was crying hysterically because she wanted a feed and I went out into the kitchen to make her a bottle. Then as I was feeding her my husband came over and said that I was holding the bottle the wrong way around, the valve was on the bottom. I burst into tears. I know that my husband wasn't trying to cause any upset but I just couldn't hide my feelings in anymore. I wanted some help. At the appointment, it was too much, when it came to talking about it, I just wanted to shrug those feelings off again. In the end, my husband stepped up to tell them how I was feeling and even though deep down it is something that I had been struggling for some time, they said it was to do with the baby. I knew it was more than just that! But I felt a sense of relief, someone knew. Anxiety is such a complicated matter. It seems as if everyone experiences the symptoms differently. However, for every person who suffers from the condition, there is another person who completely doesn’t understand it. Over the last few years there have been ups and down. I have had times where my anxiety hasn't got the best of me, but days for it all to come crashing down and I feel as if I have made no progress. My anxiety will never be resolved with a click of a finger, it's something that I have to work bloody hard at. I have to push myself and I have to know when something is just too much and to be happy. 

Perhaps there will be a time in my life where I will be confident and not feel isolated when it comes to trying to make mum friends. There are times with the right encouragement where I have taken my daughter to classes that has pushed me totally out of my comfort zone and they've actually been okay. In the midst of the nervous feelings I found that other mums feel exactly the same. In that as soon as you become a mum there are times where you feel lonely and feel isolated but for me it's important to keep pushing and to know when it's too much. As you know, my daughter will be starting nursery soon and I have been wondering what the 'school gates' will be like. Will there be certain groups of women who will come over to talk to me, to judge me or invite me over for a coffee and a play date. I guess only time will tell, but I am going to try my hardest to say hello, make conversation for my daughter as she means the world to me. 

OUR FAMILY HOLIDAY 2017

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I hope you've had a lovely week so far, I feel as if I have finally got back into the swing of things with personal life and my blog work. I can't believe it's taken me nearly a month to get back to normal! So, with this in mind I thought that it would be the perfect time to tell you all about our family holiday. Our family hasn't had the best of time and our holiday was something that we were looking forward to other than the little lady turning three of course. Last year, we didn't manage to get away so this year it was something that both my husband and I were going to make sure we did. Being an English Rose, also known as a person who can't be in the sun for too long before coming out in a rash or burn to a full on lobster red - going abroad wasn't an option. We decided to invite my parents and explore up north. Ever since I can remember my family have always taken holidays in the North Yorkshire Dales, honestly there is so much to do and so much to see. It was hard trying to cram all our adventures into one week, but we somehow managed to create some amazing memories and so today I wanted to share them with you.


But before we could explore the adventure we had to make the long five hour drive up North, with a three year old. But surprisingly, she did fantastic with only one stop for lunch. We did make sure that we were prepared for our journey and we made it to the cottage before dark so we had plenty of time to explore. We then made some dinner, had a lovely hot bath before trying to get an early night before setting off to explore in the morning. The little lady did get up during the night saying she was 'scared'. Not that seeing Nanny and Grandad going past her room had anything to do with those get ups!!! The next morning we were all feeling more refreshed and couldn't wait to go and seek some adventures and our first stop was Richmond to throw stones for a few hours, throwing stones was something that she became obsessed with on the holiday!


After a trip into Richmond town to get ourselves a kettle for a much needed cup of tea too go along with our sweet treats, we then went out for a drive and ended up at Buttertubs Pass. Traditionally a place where farmers from surrounding dales kept their unsold butter in the shaded and water cooled clefts. Let's just say it's a long way down! The weather was less than appealing as we went over so we had to be careful. But lots of fun nonetheless. It was getting late so, we made our way back to the cottage for a cosy night.

Up bright and early the next morning, thanks to a certain little lady! We made plans to go and visit Bolton Abbey where we enjoyed a fun filled day that was perfect for the whole family. At Bolton Abbey we got the chance to see Priory Church and Ruins, The Stepping Stones and The Strid. It's a real shame we couldn't stay for long because there was so much more to see. A quick stop off at a little tea shop called Tea on The Green before making our way back to the car and our trip back to the cottage. 




The next day's adventure was more of a 'see what we could do' kind of day. We love to just venture out into the car, with no destination in mind just getting the little one to say left or right! Our venture landed us at Ribblehead Viaduct, which is a large 19th Century British rail bridge crossing Ribble Valley. It was a great view for photos of the little lady!!! We somehow managed to make our way to The World of Beatrix Potter, but that's for another blog post. 



After a couple of hours discovering the wonderful world of Beatrix Potter we then walk over the road to Lake Windermere, wow, now this is a beautiful place. It's a shame we couldn't hire a boat, there was a three hour wait and we wanted to get on and explore. We ended up driving a little way to Conniston Waters, I cannot tell you how peaceful this place was. I honestly could have stayed there all day but we all thoroughly enjoyed throwing stones into the water to try and soak Daddy. We then started to make our way home but then we saw a couple of places on the map called Hardknott Pass, and then Wrynose Pass which are single track roads right through the middle of the Lake District, and they are very steep and twisting, but it was great fun. The roads were very steep and winding, with a gradient of 1 in 3 which is around 33%, it was so much fun...Until we broke down on the top!!!!




Whilst broken down on the top of Hardknotts Pass we did meet a couple of people who were only more than happy to call AA once they were at the bottom, we even met a chap who only gone and lost his keys to his motorbike whilst out on a walk! Thankfully, my dad saved the day and managed to see them right on the edge of a sheer drop. We waited for a couple of hours and thought that it was getting dark and wondered if AA were even going to make it up the long and bendy roads. So again, my dad and husband somehow managed to fix the problem, long enough so we could get ourselves to a garage. We were so grateful to have finally made it home around 11pm! A cup of tea and some toast before crashing out on the sofa. The next morning we made a couple of calls to some local garages and one kindly offered to help us. While they were trying to fix our poorly car we walked around The Ropermakers in Hawes and spend a good hour or so on the most amazing park. Even I had a go on a swing, mainly because I could get my bum in this one! Haha! The garage phoned, they had somehow managed to fix our car so we could keep exploring, which took us to The Druid's Temple in Ripon. Styled after stone circles and well known prehistoric monuments such as Stonehenge. The Druids Temple was built to alleviate local unemployment, allowing William Danby, a wealthy landowner of the time to pay workers a shilling a day for their labour. At less than 200 years old, it is nonetheless an atmospheric and intriguing location. Despite its origin being common knowledge, myths and rumours of mystic practices have sprung up over its lifetime with tales of Devil worship and harrowing frights experienced by those who have spent the night. For most now though The Druids Temple is a tranquil spot to take a picnic and enjoy a gentle stroll.



We were now closing into the end of our holiday and only had a few adventures to cram into a couple of day. We were all a little sad, but nonetheless we wanted to try and explore some more. A beautiful place called West Burton. A short walk from the West Burton's pretty village green brings you to this shady spot with its small waterfall and the remains of the town mill. It is known as Cauldron Falls because of the beautiful plunge pool, and was one of the spots painted by Turner on his travels in the Dales.


Our next stop was Wain Wath Force, where our daughter touched the waterfall and then quickly chased some sheep, as you do. Even though it was raining and miserable it was beautiful. A couple more photo opportunities later we then made our way to Kiston and Keld Waterfalls. Throughout the years we've been coming the the Yorkshire Dales and this is one place that we would always stay, it was my brother's favourite place. At Keld, there are so many opportunities to walk, to explore and even have the cutest little tea room. It's a must visit place, if you're ever in the area. 






The Tan Hill Inn is the highest inn in the British Isles at 1,732 feet (528 m) above sea level. The building dates to the 17th century and during the 18th century was used as a hostelry by workers digging coal pits. But we were more excited about the sheep, obviously the little one wanted a cuddle.   


This is a day that we were all dreading, not because we were going home, but because we had one place to visit that was very special to my family. Both my grandparents adored Carperby a beautiful place where you are surrounded my waters, walks and lots of farm animals. Without fail at least two weeks over the summer holidays my brother, sister and I would spend a lot of time camping with my Grandparents. It a very special place to us and the final resting place for both my Grandparents. So I knew it would be a little hard. As we walked around our daughter spotted some sheep where she tried to chase them, she became obsessed with trying to hug one. She was unsuccessful if you were wondering. 



Our last stop at Carperby was 'The Bridge'. It has a special meaning to all of my family and goes back 45 years worth of memories, so you can only imagine the emotions we were all feeling as we walked across. For me, it was being with my brother and sister throwing sticks and dock leaves into the water to have races. It does make me feel a little sad about those times with loved ones and now I have to look at creating special memories with my own family and perhaps visit this place more, so my daughter can explore the outdoors, just like I did. 



THE FASHION EDIT | 4 Styles of Accessory for Any Occasion

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When it comes to creating the perfect outfit, creativity and personality are absolutely essential. Fashion and style are a big part of life for many people; the way in which you present yourself can speak volumes about you as an individual as well as other factors like your personal tastes and preferences. 

Of course, the occasion that you are dressing for will also have an impact on your choice of attire. Professional or formal situations require more conserved and subtle choices whereas a casual meeting with friends, for example, means that you can relax these rules and let your unique character shine through. 

When you are considering your choice of outfit, it is also important to think about more than just which clothes you want to wear. Your choice of accessories has the power to make or break your outfit – from shoes to bags to jewellery and so much more, the right accessories can instantly transform a dull outfit into an incredible one.

If you are struggling to decide on the perfect accompaniment to your outfit, there are plenty of different styles and trends that you can take inspiration from. Depending on your individual preferences and the type of accessories, clothing and look that you prefer, it is easy to do some research and head out to the shops in search of your next perfect accessory. 

To help you get started, here are four alternative styles of accessory, each ideal for a different occasion. After all, once you have decided on your favourite look, it is then much easier to adapt and add to it, tailoring this existing style to the situation at hand.


Subtle and Minimalist

The minimalist look is an undeniable classic. Regardless of your personal fashion preferences, there are always going to be situations in life where a more subtle and understated look is required. For that reason, it is good practice to make sure that you are prepared by keeping a selection of toned down accessories to hand for when these situations crop up.

From the office to business meetings and conferences to formal situations outside of the workplace, life is full of times when a strict dress code is expected. To that end, the minimalist approach is always a firm favourite and a safe bet. For men, classic accessories like watches and tie clips make the ideal addition to this trend.

Aside from this, some people prefer to dress using the minimalist look on a daily basis. Dressing using just a limited colour palette, for example, can lead to you appearing much more chic and fashionable – something which many of us are constantly aiming towards.

Mix and Match

Searching for the perfect casual look? Mixing and matching different and contrasting accessories can provide the ideal way to add a touch of individuality to your attire. The beauty of this approach is that there are so many varying avenues that you can go down in order to achieve the look. Depending on your choice of accessories and what colours, patterns, styles and designs you prefer, there is always plenty of scope for adapting the trend to your unique look. The mix and match approach works best when applied to jewellery – from stackable bracelets to layered necklaces and multiple contrasting rings, these are all great ways to let your personality shine through. 

Sparkling and Dazzling

Sometimes, diamonds really are a girl’s best friend. Dazzle the crowd and wow those around you with a stunning piece of luxury jewellery, perfectly chosen for the specific event. Whether it is a wedding, party or any other special occasion, sometimes only the best will suffice. 

Opt for striking pieces that complement your outfit to really use the jewellery to its full potential. Whether it is a bold gemstone necklace, some gorgeous drop earrings or a shining, elegant bracelet, the potential to wow is yours with sparkling luxury jewellery.

Floral and Feminine

For the woman who prefers to remain true to her roots with a feminine wardrobe, dainty accessories are the way to go. Pair flowing skirts and dresses with sandals or soft boots and a whimsical hairstyle to perfectly capture the look. Finish it off with the ideal accessories – mixing and matching will also work here, but other favourites include layered necklaces, beaded bracelets and a selection of rings. With this look, floral prints and feminine designs are your friends; it is vital to stay true to the roots of this trend in order to really make the look work for you.

Whatever your personal fashion taste, with a little research, it is easy to discover the perfect accessories to suit this style. Update your wardrobe, complement your favourite pieces of clothing and finish off each look in the utmost style – all thanks to the humble accessory. No matter what the occasion, discovering your perfect accessory and the ultimate look is guaranteed to be just around the corner. 


This is a collaborative post

5 SIMPLE WAYS TO HELP OTHER BLOGGERS

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Just before we get into this blog post I think I should set one thing straight, I am in no way an expert when it comes to blogging! If I am honestly most of the time I am pretty much winging it! There are so many fantastic bloggers that I aspire to and perhaps with enough hard work and promotion one day I may be there too. But for now, there's nothing that I like more than to support my other fellow bloggers in the sea of amazing bloggers. Being a blogger you can make such a difference to other people with certain blog posts and even to some blogs you admire, through simple acts of kindness! So, today in the light of positive vibes only I wanted to share some simple ways in which you can help other bloggers. 


1. Comment, comment and perhaps comment some more.

As bloggers we all know how important interaction is and to some extent it is pretty much the key to success in the blogging world. You can start small with some comment love. Try and find some bloggers that you admire and try to put a name to the face by paying attention to their content and tell them why you love it. There are so many amazing bloggers out there and some who have thousands of followers but will always take time to reply to comments and messages without a second thought. So leaving a comment, a tweet or even an email will show them that you are there, reading their words, which can make someone feel appreciated and those hours they have spent planning, writing and editing is all worthwhile. So spread the love!

2. Sharing is caring.

We all know that sharing shows you care when it comes to blogging. It opens up a whole range of new readers and potentially followers that you can gain, but it's not always about gaining followers even though it great. By sharing their content just because it's pretty awesome can be quite flattering! When you see a post that's so good you feel your world needs to see, so why not share? Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest or even Stumble Upon are platforms that are great for a blog post getting more recognition. Don't forget that some bloggers have advertisements in their sidebars, or other bloggers who advertising with them, click these!!! It's so helpful to the blogger and just a few seconds and a couple of clicks can help them financially. I would also say that same for a sponsored post, supporting the paid for work is essential when it comes to professional blogging. So when you see a post, tweet, pin or advert, click on it!!!! 

3. Find your blogging pod.

Pretty sure that if you're a blogger you will know what a blogging pod is, however if you don't then listen up, you need to find yours. Basically a blogging pod is a group of bloggers who support each other on various platforms, so for example a new post goes live, you let your blogging pod know and they can comment, like, share, pin and so on. It was probably one of the best things that I did when I became a professional blogger. You can engage with these blogging pods, learn from and grow with as you continue on in your personal and professional life. Aside from the fact that it helps with blogging, my little pod tends to go off on a tangent about our daily life and are always there when we need support! You need to find your blogging pod....

4.  Follow, like, or subscribe.

When it comes to discovering good blogs the first thing that I like to do is try and follow them on every platform that have. Now, I'm not saying you have to do this personally, it's just something I like to do. If you're anything like me, you have some favourite blogs to read, but don't always remember to go to their blog, don't have the time, or go online and get completely distracted and start looking for things you don't need to do then you may realise it's been a little while since you checked their content, by following all their social media platforms is a great way to stay connected. You could even subscribe to their mailing list, so you never miss a post! 

5. Linking is great thinking.

It always good practice to try and link to your favourite blogs! I like to do this with our monthly updates, don't forget to check ours. I will list five or six great blog post that I can across throughout the month and mention over my social media platforms when promoting the post. Something that I need to start doing are regular posts about certain bloggers you need to follow, seriously these types of post are a guilty pleasure and a good way to discover new bloggers Another great way to help other bloggers is to ask to collaborate on something whether this is a linky, a Instagram hashtag or even a guest post there are always ways in which you could collaborate with other people to drive your brand. 

So there you have it! 5 simple ways to help other bloggers, so spread the word, the kindness, the positive vibes and the love in the beautiful world of blogging. What other ways would you help other bloggers? Leave me a comment below..

THE BABY FEEDING SERIES WITH TRIPS WITH A TOT

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Hello and welcome back to another instalment of The Baby Feeding Series, that features real stories from real parents who have experienced how hard and baffling feeding your baby can be. I want this series to be a place where parents can share their own experiences in the hopes that other parents who are struggling can feel less alone. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world but it's one of the most rewarding jobs too and so I want to share their stories.
 
  
This week we have the lovely Naomi from Trips with a Tot who has kindly offered to share her experience as a breastfeeding mama and offer advice in the hopes to help other Mama's who may be struggling. So with that I will hand you over to the lovely Naomi.
 
 Our Breastfeeding Journey: 17 months breastfeeding a tongue tied baby

I am so passionate about breastfeeding and supporting others, especially with tongue ties. I have been told so many times I should share what happened to us as it could inspire other mums who are struggling.

This is our story. It gets graphic!

Eric was born on 26/10/15 at 42+1 by EMCS
He was 7lb
Eric is my first born, my second pregnancy
I had a healthy pregnancy until the end, I was diagnosed with pre eclampsia and it all went down hill from there!
Eric was exclusively breastfed until 6 months
Breastfeeding was awful to begin with, terribly painful, I cried and hated every moment, dreaded feeding him. I used nipple shields for 5 months.
We started baby led weaning at 6 months, though he didn’t really eat until 8 months!
We all bed share and Eric feeds through the night still
He’s very much still breastfed and loves his boob!
Sometimes it is mentally hard for me, sometimes I feel super touched out, but mostly I love it.
I’m very proud that I’ve got to 17 months as we had an awful beginning and a terrible 6 months.

When I was pregnant, I knew I was going to breastfeed. I spent hours reading up on it and what to expect. I thought I knew it all… baby comes, baby goes on boob, the rest comes naturally.

Unfortunately my labour was awful, I had pre eclampsia but wasn’t induced until 42 weeks, I ended up being rushed to theatre for an EMCS. I was so scared I wouldn’t get to feed him after the birth during the “golden hour” especially as I had lost 2.5 litres of blood and had a terrible time in theatre. I begged and begged to feed him, I could barely see straight or hold him but it was all I wanted to do.

The nurses and midwives warned me that breastfeeding through my recovery might be hard, I was very tired, ill and dehydrated. I had nearly had a hysterectomy and was in a lot of pain. I just remember my vision being so fuzzy, not being able to even latch him on, but telling myself that I had no other option. I had wanted to do it for so long.

 I was so happy to be breastfeeding; I had longed for it.

Eric was attached to me, feeding from then on for days on end. I was in hospital for a week after birth and I don’t remember a time where he wasn’t on the boob. He went without a feed for about 20 minutes. I held him and fed up sat up in my hospital bed for hours on end and all the staff said to be was, “wow, he never stops, does he?”. It was absolute agony.
I was exhausted but he cluster fed non stop going from one boob to the other. We were both on IV drips and the wires always got in the way. I felt really depressed. My nipples killed, they were so sore, I had bruises around my areola and I felt lonely. I was given nipple cream and told it was normal.

Once being discharged home, I thought it would get better when we were both off the drips, being more relaxed and in our own surroundings. But it was just as bad at home. Eric breastfed 24/7. The minute he unlatched he screamed for more. He cluster fed for 9 hours at a time. I would sit on the sofa from morning until night putting him back and forward. He was never settled unless he was latched on or laid on my chest. His latch was awful. He barely opened his mouth and he only ever sucked the end. But he was gaining weight and so everyone said it was fine and it was normal that breastfeeding hurt.

 
 

Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore, I was dreading feeds, had bleeding nipples and couldn’t bare it. Ollie (my partner, Eric’s dad) went to Boots and bought nipple shields, dummies, cream, and all sorts of breastfeeding gadgets. I got in touch with my local breastfeeding support worker and texted her basically begging for help. When she came to visit, she advised me that breastfeeding does hurt some women and nipples do heal. I just had to ride it out.

I wore Eric in a sling and that did help. He would settle with Ollie in the sling for about half an hour, which gave me a break from feeding. Deep down though, I was exhausted. I hurt everywhere. I was so discouraged, disappointed and scared. I didn’t want it to feel this way. I didn’t understand why everyone, including health care professionals, were telling me that the pain was normal. Something was just telling me otherwise.

The nipple shields helped a little, they took the edge off but the pain was very much still there. When he latched on I would have to tense my jaw and curl my toes to deal with the pain, then throughout the feed constantly motivate myself to stand it. I hated using the shields. They didn’t feel right, they were a hassle, they fell off and it made breastfeeding in public an absolute terror. I hadn’t imagined in a million years I would have been in that situation. A screaming baby, bleeding nipples, fiddly shields and tubes of nipple cream wasn’t what I expected. But still, I was told it was normal. Eric was gaining weight so that was that. I was even told that I might just have oversensitive nipples.



It started improving around 5 months. I learnt how to breastfeed in bed laying down which was a life changer. Eric’s latch finally improved and I started trying to wean us off the shields. Sometimes I couldn’t bare it and it still hurt too much, sometimes I managed a feed without them. Never though, did I enjoy using them. I felt like there was something wrong with me and I couldn’t breastfeed properly.

Around this time was when I started to join breastfeeding support groups online. Something didn’t sit with me, I had a feeling it wasn’t right with the advice I had received telling me it was normal to struggle this way. I joined UKBAPS on Facebook and posted asking for advice. Straight away, I had lots of replies telling me it sounded like Eric had tongue tie. I was asked if he had been checked, why no one had asked me so far. I was shocked straight away as I had been reading up about tongue tie. As soon as I got these comments, and had a lactation consultant confirm it sounded like tongue tie symptoms, I just cried. I cried with relief, frustration and anxiety. I was angry. I was tired. And I felt incredibly let down by health care professionals. I had Eric’s tongue tie confirmed as a posterior tie. He also has lip tie. I had fed him, exclusively, through agony, with that, whilst being told the pain I experienced was completely normal. I can’t believe it.

Guilt has swallowed me up about it before. I was questioning whether it was actually my fault. How did I not know? Had he been hungry for the last 5 months? Had he hated breastfeeding as much as I had? Did I put him through feeding problems because I didn’t have the knowledge of tongue ties myself to know that he had one? I was happy to have answers but upset that the diagnosis was so late. Had the tongue tie been found in hospital or when I was showing all the symptoms of a tongue tie, it would have saved both me and Eric a hell of a lot of stress and pain. It took me a while to accept the truth, I did feel a grudge.

However, I did manage to get help and support from friends, online communities and family. The sling community was a life saver for me and the Sheffield Sling Surgery was invaluable. Meeting like minded people, getting advice on slings and breastfeeding on the go changed my life and prospective on breastfeeding completely. We were able to wean off using nipple shields and eventually Eric was a breastfeeding pro! Learning to breastfeed took us 6 months. It was a long, hard time and difficult experience. But I believe that due to what happened, is why we still have such a strong breastfeeding relationship at 17 months.

Eric loves breastfeeding and he’s no where near ready to wean. He loves boob whenever, wherever! I’m willing to feed him for as long as he wants; I love the bond, the cuddles and his milky smiles.Lots of people will tell you that you can’t or shouldn’t breastfeed. You CAN! It is so hard when there are underlying issues but you can do it!

I have researched and learnt so much about tongue ties because of our experience, and read up about breastfeeding support on the NHS. It fuelled me to train as a breastfeeding support worker but the training course required the parents to be without baby and at that point, Eric was still feeding constantly. I really hope to do it in the near future and would love to eventually train as a doula.

There is not enough support or knowledge about tongue ties to help new parents and their babies whilst in hospital. This help could save millions of breastfeeding relationships, stress, fear and post natal depression. It is not normal for breastfeeding to hurt. Pain is a sign that something is not right; it is a symptom of a deeper problem. Please, please don’t ignore the problem or listen to any advice about it being normal; because it is not. A lactation consultant can give trained professional advice on feeding problems for tongue ties on all ages of babies both breast and bottle fed. Health care professionals need to be trained on tongue ties and feeding problems so they can help mums and babies who are struggling to feed.
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About Naomi
 
Naomi is 25 years old and lives in Sheffield with her family. Naomi loves going on adventures. trips, holidays and exploring with her little boy, Eric, and partner, Ollie. As well as going on adventures with her little family she loves to blog about them in the forms of reviews for her website. Naomi loves to find hidden gems, discover the best stuff what's on for families, and recommend all the exciting events going on. Trips with a tot is all about finding out where to go to enjoy local days out, things to do, and inspiring you to get out with your family.
 


You can find Naomi over at Trips with a Tots
 
Don't forget to go and give Naomi's social media platforms a little like or follow
 

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