Welcome back to another instalment of The Baby Feeding Series, where we spotlight real stories from real parents navigating the messy, emotional, and often confusing journey of feeding their babies. My hope is that this space becomes a comforting corner where others who feel lost or overwhelmed can read these experiences and feel a little less alone. Parenthood is hands-down the toughest role out there, but it’s also the most beautiful. Through these stories, I want to honour both the struggle and the joys.
I'm thrilled to share that this week, The Baby Feeding Series features the wonderful Lisa from Mumma Scribbles as our guest poster. I was overjoyed when Lisa reached out to participate in the series and share her breastfeeding experiences with her sons, offering a glimpse into how unique each breastfeeding journey can be. And now, I'll hand it over to the lovely Lisa.
MY BREASTFEEDING STORY
When I became pregnant with my eldest son Zach, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. There was no question as to whether I would or wouldn’t try, and the only thing that would have stopped me would have been if my body wouldn’t have allowed me. Thankfully that wasn’t the case and from the moment my milk came in, I produced plenty for my little man. I absolutely loved feeding him. Those snuggles. The way he would fall asleep on me, milk drunk. I mean, the cluster feeding wasn’t all that great but those times passed quickly and for the most part it was just wonderful.
Our breastfeeding journey went beautifully right up until around month five. At this point, he started feeding every couple of hours 24 hours a day. I was constantly nursing him through the day and then at night, the same. To say I was exhausted was an understatement. I am always of the opinion that in order to fully function and look after a child, you need at least a few straight hours kip a night and I just wasn’t getting this. I kept pushing though, as in my mind I felt like a failure that I was thinking about introducing formula. It came to a point when I had to give myself a break though and so I started to introduce formula into his diet. It turned out to be the right thing for both he and I. He became a much, much happier baby - going longer between feeds and sleeping better through the night. I was therefore a much happier mummy. Sad that our breastfeeding days had come to an end but happy that I felt a lot more refreshed, a lot more alive with more sleep!
Fast forward four years and baby number two came along - our delightful Oscar. Once again, I knew that I would be breastfeeding him as long as my body allowed, and once again, it did. After getting through those initial few weeks of agony, we got ourselves into a brilliant feeding pattern and it was going oh so smoothly and pain free. Then he got teeth. Something I didn’t really experience with Zach as his teeth came far slower. Oscar’s started coming through, one, then two, and he started biting. Not purposefully, but mostly when he was falling asleep. Then more came. The next four pretty much in the space of a week and suddenly I was feeding a baby with 6 pincer sharp teeth! And he was constantly attached to me in the evenings. And my god the pain came. I don’t know if it came because he was feeding differently, because he was feeding so regularly, or a mixture of both, but suddenly I was in agony and every feed began with me taking a big inhale of breath as he was latching. I was smothering myself in Lasinoh, and there were times when I was almost in tears. I so, so nearly gave up but I kept going and low and behold, it all calmed down again when he started sleeping in the evenings a bit better (thus not constantly attached to me), and the pain mostly went away.
It was at this time though, that I decided to start giving him the odd bottle. It was mostly to give myself a break but I also didn’t want to get to the point where he had never had one and wouldn’t take one. He has been having a bottle most days for a few weeks and has taken to it really well. There is no doubt that he prefers boob, and for 99% of the time, that is what he still has. But it is really nice knowing that he will take a bottle too.
We are now almost nine months into breastfeeding. I have never pumped for him (I did with Zach), and he has had the odd bit of formula. Otherwise, we have been exclusively breastfeeding for far longer than I really thought we would be. There is a massive part of me that wonders if I should have given up a while ago, because I might not have such a clingy baby. I might not have one that relies solely on me to get him to sleep at night. But it is highly likely that he is my last baby and there is another massive part of me that wants to savour every single breastfeed. Even though they now mostly consist of a heavy, wriggling baby that likes to ping my bra straps, kick my arms and generally wrestle me throughout each feed!
I love breastfeeding, there is no doubt about that. And I think I am just going to carry on with what I am doing as I am noticing that he is taking less during the day now where he is eating more food. We’ll see though...anything could happen and it only takes one moment of “I can’t do this anymore” to make me stop!
Our breastfeeding journey went beautifully right up until around month five. At this point, he started feeding every couple of hours 24 hours a day. I was constantly nursing him through the day and then at night, the same. To say I was exhausted was an understatement. I am always of the opinion that in order to fully function and look after a child, you need at least a few straight hours kip a night and I just wasn’t getting this. I kept pushing though, as in my mind I felt like a failure that I was thinking about introducing formula. It came to a point when I had to give myself a break though and so I started to introduce formula into his diet. It turned out to be the right thing for both he and I. He became a much, much happier baby - going longer between feeds and sleeping better through the night. I was therefore a much happier mummy. Sad that our breastfeeding days had come to an end but happy that I felt a lot more refreshed, a lot more alive with more sleep!
Fast forward four years and baby number two came along - our delightful Oscar. Once again, I knew that I would be breastfeeding him as long as my body allowed, and once again, it did. After getting through those initial few weeks of agony, we got ourselves into a brilliant feeding pattern and it was going oh so smoothly and pain free. Then he got teeth. Something I didn’t really experience with Zach as his teeth came far slower. Oscar’s started coming through, one, then two, and he started biting. Not purposefully, but mostly when he was falling asleep. Then more came. The next four pretty much in the space of a week and suddenly I was feeding a baby with 6 pincer sharp teeth! And he was constantly attached to me in the evenings. And my god the pain came. I don’t know if it came because he was feeding differently, because he was feeding so regularly, or a mixture of both, but suddenly I was in agony and every feed began with me taking a big inhale of breath as he was latching. I was smothering myself in Lasinoh, and there were times when I was almost in tears. I so, so nearly gave up but I kept going and low and behold, it all calmed down again when he started sleeping in the evenings a bit better (thus not constantly attached to me), and the pain mostly went away.
It was at this time though, that I decided to start giving him the odd bottle. It was mostly to give myself a break but I also didn’t want to get to the point where he had never had one and wouldn’t take one. He has been having a bottle most days for a few weeks and has taken to it really well. There is no doubt that he prefers boob, and for 99% of the time, that is what he still has. But it is really nice knowing that he will take a bottle too.
We are now almost nine months into breastfeeding. I have never pumped for him (I did with Zach), and he has had the odd bit of formula. Otherwise, we have been exclusively breastfeeding for far longer than I really thought we would be. There is a massive part of me that wonders if I should have given up a while ago, because I might not have such a clingy baby. I might not have one that relies solely on me to get him to sleep at night. But it is highly likely that he is my last baby and there is another massive part of me that wants to savour every single breastfeed. Even though they now mostly consist of a heavy, wriggling baby that likes to ping my bra straps, kick my arms and generally wrestle me throughout each feed!
I love breastfeeding, there is no doubt about that. And I think I am just going to carry on with what I am doing as I am noticing that he is taking less during the day now where he is eating more food. We’ll see though...anything could happen and it only takes one moment of “I can’t do this anymore” to make me stop!
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About Lisa
Lisa is a 34 year old mum of two boys, a four year old and an almost 9 month old. She writes the blog Mummascribbles where she documents life with two sons, from the family days out to the raw parenting posts. She lives in Hertfordshire with her little family and has just resigned from her job to make a go of it as a blogger!
You can find Lisa over at Mumma Scribbles
Ahh, this sounds like my experiences! I found it almost impossible to breastfeed first time round but second time round it was a different story x
ReplyDeleteWhen I was breastfeeding no-one talked about 'cluster feeding', but now I hear it mentioned all the time. I wish I had a word for it then, and a slightly better understanding too. It's so interesting to read other people's stories, and I'm sure really helpful for others. great series Kelly-Anne, and great post Lisa x
ReplyDeleteA great read, it's always so nice to know other people are going through similar experiences. I struggled breastfeeding my first and we ended up on a mix of boob and bottle, but this worked well and he was quite happy. Second has breast fed easily, but similar to Lisa - she still wakes at night for it too! Only once so I can handle it, but would be nice to get a full night's sleep some time soon! xx
ReplyDelete